Man, getting old sure isn't an easy thing! Today was a long day at work. My legs were feeling the effects of yesterday's speed workout minus a warm up. Yesterday it seemed like such an awesome idea to do the speed interval sections of my run much faster than I needed to. Today, not so much. Funny how after taking a slight reduction in mileage last week that I'm so sore today. The old body just doesn't bounce back like it used to.
But, today I was determined to keep the good momentum of yesterday's workout moving right along. So, it was off to the gym for some cross-training and an easy three miles. Today was also the second test run of the little man getting off the bus, walking by three houses to our home, letting himself inside and calling me to let me know that he got there safe and sound. My wife will be home. But, she works the awful midnight shift and will be fast asleep.
I think that every parent has the opinion that when they grew up things were a little better off than they are now for their kids. The violence wasn't as bad, the streets were safer, you could leave your house unlocked kind of thing. At my son's age I was walking about two miles from school to my grandmother's house, rode my bike all over the city and didn't come home until dinner time. So, I guess I have that opinion too. But, as an adult, especially an adult who works in the field of law enforcement who sees all the terrible things humanity is capable of, I was really nervous about today.
We did it once before without a problem. My wife was just as nervous as me. It seemed like every shadow held a pedophile, every big van a kidnapper and every car with blacked out windows a bad guy who had an axe to grind with me for some unbeknownst wrong that I did to them. Scary thoughts. My motto at work is always walk around every corner like death is waiting on the other side. It saved my life once.
My little man is eight. He still thinks everyone's still good at heart, that Santa is legit and that elves move throughout the house when he sleeps. I don't want to take that away. He needs to hold onto that for as long as he can. It's like switching from a flip phone to an iPhone. Once it's done, you can never go back.
That being said, we've warned him as innocently as we could about the bad things of the world and have developed a good safety plan. My fears are hopefully just that.
As I got into my workout this afternoon I eagerly watched the clock on my iPhone tick away until his call. While the minutes came and went my inner guilt increased exponentially. Am I being to selfish asking him to do this? Is he too young? Is he ok? He eventually called on time and the sound of his voice soothed my ears and fears. But, damn his little voice sounded like he was three all over again.
I finished my workout after a promise was made for him to call me or wake mom if anything hokey was going down. So, what do I think? I think we'll continue with this experiment. I'm definitely not comfortable doing this every day. But, maybe once or twice a week will work for now. I think that the guilty feeling will never go away. But, the fact that I care about keeping myself fit for duty and healthy enough to last well into my retirement pushing my great grandkids in running strollers during our local 5K is a tremendously great thing. Would my dad still be here if he valued fitness like I did? I don't know. But, if a couple of hours twice a week at the gym and some miles through the snow can by me a lifetime with my family, I'll more than take it.
Don't feel guilty about the time away for your loved ones while you work on making yourself a happier, healthier and fitter person. They will thank you. Maybe you'll even rub off on them and even get them to exercise with you! That's a double bonus!
Have a great night my friends and run for your lives!
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